Ocean Winds

Well hey,
sorry it's been so long.
I was busy thinking...


Sometimes,
losing someone like him seems to be
the hardest thing
that you will ever do.
But here's my theory.

You've been preparing for this loss all your life.
Through all the obstacles you encounter in life,
your body and mind prepare you to bounce back
and to keep moving forward.

I didn't know what I was going to do.
I promised myself that I would never let him go
never let him slip through my fingers
but my grasp was so tight
that I killed him.

I never wanted this to happen to you,
but I couldn't bear to see you go.
I was caught between a rock and a hard place,
but when the time came,
I wanted to let you go.
I knew that I couldn't keep playing games with my mind
knowing that we would both lose in the end.

So I moved on,
big whoop.
Adults do it everyday,
and so now I see that I'm finally growing up.

Welcome to the real world, Hannah.
It's time to jump with confidence into a sea of fears
and to let go of the past.

Code

they always say
[i]f it's meant to be
it will be

but man oh man
how [d]o y[o]u know whe[n] to put in effort and when [t]o
stop?

things have [w]orked out this w[a]y for a long time [n]ow
(over a mon[t]h)
but i don'[t] know if it's meant t[o] happen

tomorrow's my [l]ast chance
bef[o]re autumn
to take a ri[s]k and jump

[e]xcept i'm so afraid of falling slowl[y]

and i don't kn[o]w if yo[u] will be there to catch me.



[and that's my biggest fear.]

Mash-up

So I'm combing the lyrics from different songs to make a new song that describes my life.

Here goes: (kudos to anyone who can name all the different songs)

I can't tell you what it really is
 

I can only tell you what it feels like 


and right now there's a steel knife 
in my windpipe 

I never told you what I should’ve said 

I never meant to cause you trouble

Nobody said it was easy, 

it’s such a shame for us to part, 

nobody said it was easy, 

no one ever said it would be this hard

I’ll never be your beast of burden

You’re my flower child and I’m your forget-me-not

I know all you needed was me

And I stare at the phone, 

he still hasn’t called 

and then you feel so low 

you can’t feel nothing at all

Cause he can get the knockout

Forget about the sunshine when it’s gone

I’ll never be your beast of burden

You’re my flower child and I’m your forget-me-not

I know all you needed was me

Love is not a victory march, 

it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

I’ll never be your beast of burden

You’re my flower child and I’m your forget-me-not

I know all you needed was me

Metamorphosis

Sometimes
in the night
in my head
I scream.



But last night I promised myself,
I promised the world,
and I promised the universe,
that never would I ever
become the monster you don't want.

I will never be that
drama loving,
attention hogging,
internet relying,
cougar acting,
over protective
beast of burden
that I have been in my past.

Every time I swear I will change,
but a new problem always arises instead.

But I've never ever wanted someone this badly,
needed them so much that it hurts my head,
and aches my bones.
So,
I will change for you.

Geometry

I think it was a half-year reunion,
in the winter,
in the snow.
5 days,
4 nights,
and I hadn't seen you in forever.
So I looked and looked,
and I promised to all my friends
that tonight,
the last night,
I would kiss you.
But you didn't even show up.

I think it was the next day,
but I was at the beach,
and he was there.
So we talked,
and hung out,
and waited for the tide to roll in.
And when it did,
our beds were in the water
so I crawled into mine
and he tucked me in.
I remember,
I thought,
he's going to kiss me.
He's going to kiss me.
And the weirdest part is,
is that I don't think I would have minded if he kissed me.
I might have even liked it-
but then I woke up.