Thursday, October 28, 2010


I can think I don't care about you-
and then you start talking to me again.
And you laugh at me jokingly.
And you borrow my history book.
Thanks bud for being a gentleman at all the wrong times.

And making me fall for you
every single time.


I've just spent 2 hours looking at the photos of us
and trying to figure out why my face looks so weird
and why my bra is showing through my shirt in every picture.
I'll blame it on the flash.

I really want to know why he's not here right now,
and why she can't keep the little things to herself,
and wait for something big to happen
to go crying to her mom, who is the only person there for her.
But I don't want to be sucked into her stupid fake drama.

I wonder what she thinks when she looks at me.
If she regrets what she's done.
Or if she would do it again in a heartbeat.
Maybe she judges my face to figure out
if I know.
If I'm upset.
If she's done enough damage yet.
Or maybe she doesn't care about me at all.

But I don't look into her eyes,
because Medusa would turn me into stone.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Rights [Song]

(new song)

I never noticed you before

But you were there every night
Laughing at my jokes
and gazing at the stars
I can still feel you next to me
from the time you fell asleep

But I took you for granted
Unfortunately I'll always regret this

Talking late into the night
waiting up for you online
baby cant you see
this is what I wanted it to be
instead of moping around
waiting for you to make a move
after what you did the night before
you would've thought I wouldn't come back for more

we were finally together
late that one night
I started to fall for you
But I didn't want to
Because it seemed unreal

And when you slept with her
when you told me you'd always be there for me
Did you forget about the times we were

Talking late into the night
I was waiting up for you online
baby cant you see
this is what we could've been
instead of moping around
waiting for you to make a move
after what you did with her the night before
you would've thought I wouldn't come back for more

Oh I was blind
I could've seen you weren't right all along
But now you're mind is gone

You'll never be there for me
Never respect me
Never try to get inside my mind
Never know what it is
we could've been
Could've tried from the first time
Never showing enough love
to ever keep me satisfied
Oh yeah
Can't you see
that we were never meant to be

Oh why
Can't I see
that we were never meant to be

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I've been in a such a music-y mood lately so I'm posting another one of my favorite songs...from the new Taylor Swift album! It's called Sparks Fly and it's the number 1 song on iTunes right now...for a's the chorus:

Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain
'Cause I see, sparks fly whenever you smile
Get me with those green eyes, baby
As the lights go down
Something that'll haunt me when you're not around
'Cause I see, sparks fly whenever you smile

and also I love her song The Story of Us so here's the chorus to that...

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?
I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Monday, October 25, 2010

That Night...

It's so hard trying to figure out how to deal with the people around you,
when everyone is constantly changing.
One day your friend can turn into a backstabber,
and another day someone you've never noticed before can change your life.

But it's these hard decisions that have been making
or breaking
my past few weeks.

First it was her flirtiness,
then it was his kindness,
then it was her way of popping out of nowhere,
then it was his way of making everything okay,
then it was her way of begging for attention,
then it was his way of making me feel so perfect.

But today she threw me for a loophole,
and her actions caused me to falter.
I've completely forgotten how to react,
although every day before this I was making plans
of things to say
and how to fix everything.
But I never did anything.
And now it's too late.

If I had known what she had done yesterday,
I may have joined everyone else in my grade
and sat on the sidelines,
trying not to cry.
But mine actually meant something,
and that's why today was so different.

I've learned how to lose something I've never had.


So I've liked this song for a while,
and the lyrics have always been powerful for me,
but no other song could possibly describe this past weekend 
except for Go by Boys Like Girls...

Yeah, I know it's not easy
I know that it's hard
Follow the lights to the city

Get up and go
Take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
Don't look back; just go
Take a breath, move on
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
You could spend your whole life holding on

Don't spend your whole life holding on

Friday, October 22, 2010


Part of me knows that after this night,
we will never notice each other again.
But part of me knows that after this night,
I will have fallen for you hard.
And it will be too late.

So I'll try to resist,
and if everything goes poorly,
I will be okay.
If everything goes perfectly,
I know that I'll be hurt.

How can I try to enjoy myself
when I know that this whole time
I've been preparing to say goodbye?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


I remember where I was last year,
and I was definitely not here
but I was not here three weeks ago either.

What a tumultuous expedition 
that I have thrived on,
upon every rock and tree,
every raindrop and sunray.

And to think that the purpose was to lead me
to nothing?

Well, it's not about the destination,
it's about the journey.

And that's the only reason why I am here today.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Losing You

It's always my insecurity
and never knowing
what she has that I don't,
and how she acts, that's different from me.

But in the end
I never want to change myself
because that is a sign of insecurity
but I try so hard to disguise
that I am insecure,
and I can't hide it.

I always try to change him,
but maybe I need to change myself.

Monday, October 11, 2010


I've said this before in my past,
and I'll say it a million times again in my future,

Time can heal anything.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


She was just a little kid two years ago,
too scared and unsure of how to act.
So she acted like someone else:
someone brave,
someone flirty,
someone manipulative.

And when he came along,
she hooked him immediately,
and when she left him,
he dashed her pride,
her security,
and her hope.

For those two years,
she was so scared.
She could not let anyone in
the barbed-wire boundaries
that controlled her terrified heart.

It took those to years for the effect to set in,
and it took one day for her to realize
that she has finally grown up.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Silly Bands

Sorry I've been gone so long! My computer was broken :(
I was also on my class trip, and I learned some important stuff:

You can always find friends even when you least expect it,
and you can always find romance in places you never even considered.

You are the best thing that's ever been mine.