Sunday, April 21, 2013

I know it's been almost a year since I've posted last, but so much has changed in the past year that I couldn't keep up with everything.  I'm going to try to find the time at least once a week to write a post because when I had no one to talk to, I had my blog.  Although in some aspects my life is pretty great right now, I also feel like I've lost myself this past year and I'm trying to rediscover who I am and where I want to go.

I hate having emotions.

he makes me feel like
he's dating a psychopath
and it's all my fault
that I act the way I act

which I guess is true
because it is my body
and my mind
but really,
my mind does not even belong to me

my mind is me,
and it's just as alive as the rest of my body
but nothing more special
it's just any other organ

but I can think about death
and my mind won't work
just like my legs won't and my arms won't work
but it knows and gets it

but it doesn't really worry about that
or bother me about it on a daily basis
just every know and then
it likes to check in with me

and say
hey, one day you're gonna be here
but the world will move on and keep going

because you're not here mentally
or maybe the world has already moved on
because even right now
I don't feel quite present


No comments:

Post a Comment