Sunday, March 27, 2011

Lights

The last time I had a boyfriend was a while ago,
and I was 14 and he took me too far,
way too fast.
I met him,
and 2 weeks later he kept trying to get me alone so we could make out,
and I hated it.
I hated this so much.
And at the time I was confused because I thought I liked him,
I mean he was very attractive,
so how could I not like him?
But eventually I broke up with him because he kept moving too fast.
I told myself it was because I was just immature,
and he was too old for me.

Boy, was I wrong.
It wasn't me that was wrong with that relationship,
it was him.
I realize now that I could not be myself with him,
I could not be open with him,
I felt like I had to be perfect to be with him,
and I felt like I could not say what I needed to say with him.
I felt completely closed and lost,
and it wasn't because I was immature.
It was because I just didn't like him.

And now I feel bad for leading him on for those three months,
but at the same time I don't because it took me two years to figure it out.

Just Can't Get Enough
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUCo7vM-FCk

5 comments:

  1. When relationships are right, it's such a beautiful thing.

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  2. I'm glad you've found someone that you feel like yourself around... that's such a lovely thing.

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  3. It's so awesome! It's like, if you don't feel that it's right, don't stick with it and hope things get better. When people used to tell me "you'll know when it feels right" I didn't really believe them, but now I totally get it. It feels completely right now so I'm super happy! :)

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  4. Beautiful post.

    P.S. We are having a giveaway over on my blog. I hope you will come check it out. I would love for you to enter.

    http://sunnydaystarrynight.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete