So my last post was not very mysterious of any sort, so I apologize, but a girl can be vague for only a short while before spilling all her feelings...
So I am faced with another dilemma here:
To risk it all for love, a huge jump when you don't know his feelings.
A deja vu of that night, but hopefully better.
If worse, there is no loss, other than losing someone who could have connected with me better.
In the end, sometimes you have to take risks in life or you will have nothing to be remembered for. except maybe a lazy, worthless couch potato whom I seem to be when I'm not in the pool. Actually, recently my couch potatoness has been rubbing off on my work in the pool and it is making me look like an idiot when I play, and also to FEEL like an idiot. grrr what is wrong with me.
Every step I take to improve only brings me down in the light of my companions.
Where do I really belong? It's time to choose my family.
A family is supposed to love one another equally, and no matter if you fight or do something stupid, you stick together and hold out for one another in the end. So why aren't you holding out for me?!?! A family TRUSTS one another, and I'm not feeling any trust down at this end. It's time for someone to pull up their slack, or you're not my family anymore.
I can be there in mind and body, but my heart and soul may belong somewhere else.
I can commit to whatever they want with no emotion, because I've already wasted it all on what they don't even appreciate.