Forever

Life is such a fucking roller coaster then it drops,
but what should I scream for? this is my theme park.

Tag

I am a chaser.
Every where I go I do all the work.
No matter who I long for,
my yield is always worthless.

I am a chaser.
It's a foolish game to play.
Once the game is up,
I retire and find a new toy.

I am a chaser.
I never lose, but my victory is a shame.
Hardly human in morals,
But unhealthily addictive.

I used to be a chaser.
Now I am the runner.
Fly, fly away,
Until no one can see me.


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Two Families

So my last post was not very mysterious of any sort, so I apologize, but a girl can be vague for only a short while before spilling all her feelings...
So I am faced with another dilemma here:
To risk it all for love, a huge jump when you don't know his feelings.
A deja vu of that night, but hopefully better.
If worse, there is no loss, other than losing someone who could have connected with me better.

In the end, sometimes you have to take risks in life or you will have nothing to be remembered for. except maybe a lazy, worthless couch potato whom I seem to be when I'm not in the pool. Actually, recently my couch potatoness has been rubbing off on my work in the pool and it is making me look like an idiot when I play, and also to FEEL like an idiot. grrr what is wrong with me.

Every step I take to improve only brings me down in the light of my companions.

Where do I really belong? It's time to choose my family.
A family is supposed to love one another equally, and no matter if you fight or do something stupid, you stick together and hold out for one another in the end. So why aren't you holding out for me?!?! A family TRUSTS one another, and I'm not feeling any trust down at this end. It's time for someone to pull up their slack, or you're not my family anymore.
I can be there in mind and body, but my heart and soul may belong somewhere else.
I can commit to whatever they want with no emotion, because I've already wasted it all on what they don't even appreciate.

Buddies

So I was kinda supposed to have a superblogbuddy weekend with my superblogbuddy because I have the first no homework weekend since like 8 grade. Unfortunately, I got preoccupied with things such as basketball games, girls named Deva, washing my dog, and raking the yard. Great. Now my mom just came home so I prob won't get to write much anyways, but I just wanted to comment on my many buddies whom I love.
First of all I would like to say to my many buddies out there: My blog is NOT my diary!!! I do write about my life but it's NOT the stuff I write in my diary so don't flip out and say I'm putting stuff that's too personal online. Cause really, sometimes I write vaguely and my diary is all my being a girl and flipping out about the world.
Anyways, here's a list of my buddies:
Superblogbuddy! you know who you are...looove you foreveerr!!!
Creampuffbuddy: you can always make me smile :)
Foreignbuddy: you know where alllll the parties and allll the alcohol is at, all the time, no matter what. I don't even relly benefit from this knowledge, but i do benefit from your knowledge of where the hotties are at.
Spanishbuddy: no, we're not really even in the same class but still idk what else to call you because we both fail spanish together
Fashionbuddy: you are not a very close buddy, but still there for me recently more than usual
Supportbuddy: you are young, but wise for your age, evenif you don't always act it. Your advice is always appreciated :)
Housebuddy: LOL I AM SO ADDICTED THANKS TO YOU :P
Bustbuddy: even though your bust is like 5 times mine, you are still my buddy.
Littlesisterbuddy: title says it all!
Crazybuddy: you are ridiculously amazing and crazy. especially for your age!!!

and I know I can't label all my buddies out there, but if I did not mention you I would like to say thank you!!! for always being there for me when I needed support, and in my hard times always knowing how to make it up to me. I love you all!

Little Things

Here's what I remember:
Not Much

But what I did notice is this:
Loud ringing in my ears
Why can't I stop breathing?
Lots of sweat.
I am very hot.
My face is cold and clammy.
Something black and fuzzy is under my head.
A warm hand under my arm.
My vomit is light pink with weird blotches that look like blood and it is very far away from me.
My upper arm is getting tighter and tighter until it might explode, but then releases instead.
Those pills taste really good, but aren't they supposed to be light blue?
Why won't she stop staring at me?



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