Hurricane Camp (Repeat)

I was walking my dog last night
and I had this flashback to my house in New Hampshire
but not the summer NH that I've been seeing for 5 years,
but the spring NH that's different.
The air smells like those exoskeletons
of weird-ass bugs that used to creep me out
until I was 10
and I stopped having to look at them.

I haven't been there in the spring since we moved,
but it's still just as important to us.
That place hold so many memories
because it's not like on of those houses
that your parents buy to vacation in
when you're in your 20's
and moved out of the house.

It's one of those houses
that you grew up in,
and after moving across the country,
it's one of the only things that stays a constant.
And it's home.

When I was little,
I never really understood how beautiful it was,
I just thought it was a cool place
to build forts
and make fairy houses
and go fishing off the dock.
But it's so much more than that.

This is where I go
to test my strength
overcome obstacles,
let go from the things holding me back in California,
remember the times when I was younger
and see how much I've grown over the years.

I'm twice as old now as I was when we bought Hurricane Camp,
And I'm twice as wise now too.

Bird

Even though every word he speaks is a lie,
I hope he was telling the truth
when he said that I will be a good mother.

That's the one thing I am counting on
to make me look forward
to getting old.

Knife (Repeat)

I hate these kind of mornings
after one of those kind of nights
where you wake up
and your face is kinda swollen and puffy
from tears that have streamed down your cheeks
for hours and hours
the night before.

Where you feel so tired from fighting all night long
so that you've finally given in
because last night you tired all of your emotions
so this morning,
you feel nothing.
You're completely numb.

And I look in the mirror
and I think-
How could someone who loves me so much
Ever be able to hurt me so badly?

Well,
I ask myself this every day.
I don't think it was possible for you to hurt me
in one more way
last night.

Hero [Song]

Hey everyone!
I know I haven't posted in a while (and you know it's bad when every post starts like this one), but I did write a song while I've been gone in Florida and dealing with power outages and other crazy stuff.

For other news, I've started writing a book! It's not so much of a book, though, as a continuous story.  I'm going to try to add a new chapter every week. The link is: theadventuresofzoeysparks.blogspot.com
Here goes!

When we first met I couldn't control my tongue for the life of me
And from that day on until I left
I swore that I would change

I never could've predicted that
you would save my life
But you became my hero
And I never checked twice

And I don't care, because I don't love you anymore

But I will always remember the way you taught me to live

I could never forget how this was real.

Years have past but now we get along better than before
Conversation was never my easiest part
but you gave me a lot to work with

You left an imprint on my brain

Of midnight swims and drinking games 

But this will have to end because

I won't see you again

And I don't care, because I don't love you anymore
But I will always remember the way you taught me to live
I could never forget how this was real.

And maybe I could never have learned this on my own
How everything can be real
when seen in a different light

And I don't care, because I don't love you anymore

But I will always remember the way you taught me to live

I could never forget how this was real.

Circle (Repeat)

I don't really know why I'm thinking about this
a week after it happened
but I am.

I want you to know that when they asked us
who we thought was fearless
I didn't say your name
and for some reason this bothers me now.

I know you'll never see this,
but I'll say it just in case you'll know some how.

I wish you knew that I think you are fearless
even when everyone else thinks of somebody else,
but I think of you
because you're like me,
but only a lot better in every way.

I just wish now that I had spoken up
when I had the chance.